Mak say mak say

I wonder how am I gonna take it when "they" move in with us... Ppl r still treating us like kids... Its even worse when I Am the Mother of my kids... But They treat it as They Arë the mothers and wanna take over the world! Ya Allah, pls give me strength n patience.

好说。。。

腹有诗书气自华。。。 这是今天在脸书上朋友po的一句有意思的话。。。 ：D

stop the pump

I am so not used to it! stop pumping milk as Sab's not taking any of the pumped ones anymore. *sobs* but on a brighter side, I do not need to set time aside my work to pump. It's convenience that I need to get used to. :D At least she had them till 9 months old. Hamzah used to stop even breastfeeds totally when he was abt 8 months. No need to carry a milk bag to and from work is another thing that I need to get used to. Felt empty without a bag in my hand. Lol! I'm gonna miss that black square bag!

Sab's rejection of the bottle ebm :(

Sab's been rejecting the ebm that I have been expressing at work :( I do hope to keep expressing, hopefully able to bless another baby with this wonderful gift. Well, I don't wish to have any arguments with others at home. Dear Allah, please assign a baby for me to help. Amin.

Sch

All were Delivered by Yasmin Mogahed

A friend of mine was talking abt a book written by this lady. Here I've got a really well-written poem by her from her website: All Were Delivered All the voices have hushed to a whisper now. The sounds have slept. I rest here in the cocoon of my heart, Waiting for its’ deliverance. They made you think your pain was small. Small to Him… Because it was small to them. Your pain is not small to Him. Your insignificance is in front of Him—but not to Him. You are insignificant before Him. But you are not insignificant to Him. My deliverance will come. He never left any of them in this state. Not Musa, Muhammad, umm Musa, Maryam, Ayoub, Yunus, Yusuf, Yaqoob, Ibrahim, Ismael, Hajar, Aasiya, Nuh. All were delivered. My deliverance will come. This pain is not small to Him. The pain of one woman was not small to Him. The emptiness of one woman who had put her child in the river, was not small to Him. The pleads of one woman who was being tortured, was not small to Him. The complaint of one woman to the Prophet (pbuh), was not small to Him. The broken heart of one woman who had lost her son, was not small to Him. The desperation of one woman, who bore the pain alone under a tree, was not small to Him. His deliverance always came. He never left any of them in this state. (from www.yasminmogahed.com)

The Alpha parent site

Sometimes, mummy just couldn't find the support she needs. And I am not alone.... http://www.thealphaparent.com/2013/06/triumphant-tuesday-breastfeeding-with.html

A Mother writes a letter to her son's female friends

Interesting good advise... keep the chin-up girls! http://www.viralnova.com/a-concerned-mothers-letter/

My super duper Spiderman!

Stay strong n healthy my Hamzah!

To my family...

While you are pondering and stressed up over why the hell do you need to go through all these nonsense with this "cheena" in law... while you are wondering why the hell does it seem like I have not contributed much to the house... while you were dicussing about how to deal with me when Dzul comes home from work... while you are thinking how terrible I am as a daughter inlaw, a wife, a sister and even a mother... while you are thinking how bad it will be if we don't have you around to help and worrying about it... while you were planning how to help yourself so that you don't have to help mum with housework... while you are out there happily enjoying movies and meals with your friends after work... while you were hoping that I am not so "stupid"... while you were...etcetc... All in all, Allah is watching. Watching you, watching me. Allah sees your concerns, worries, frustration, anger, uncertainties about me. Allah also sees my hardwork, my patience for you, my easygoing, my forever obliging, my trying to please YOU, Allah also sees me running around outside after work looking for cheaper milk powder, scouting for good mattresses and carrying them back 1 by 1, trying to clean up the room while Sabriyah wakes up even to the lightest tap on the table, trying to iron clothes, sweep and mop the floor, fold the clothes, wash babies' toys, milk bottles, playpen, accessories etc. all at midnight when you have fallen asleep or watching some shows in your room. Allah also feels my heartbreak when I quarrelled with my mum of religious issues and you couldn't care at all. Allah also sees me trying to find that S11 for bills and for you. Allah also sees me with no mood to have sex with my husband just bcos of my worries of you sweating the petty stuff. Allah also sees your unwillingness to help your mum with housework, coming home late just to try to avoid your responsibility as a child of your mum. Allah also sees and hears your sarcacism about me. Allah also hears your complain about me in your heart. Allah also feels your jealousy of my children being close to me and not you. Allah knows you have no respect for me at all because you think I am incapable of being a good wife, daughterinlaw,sister, daughter etc. Allah also knows how much I yearn to wanna have a home of my own, because I know you can't stand me. But I can only try my best. Try my best to be the best wife, daughterinlaw, mother in my own way. Try my best to work things out so that I am proud of my own results. Try my best to let my kids learn positive values of being Respectful and Patient. Try my best to be happy. Try my best to find my piece of freedom which you think I should not have, cos now that I am a wife, mother and daughterinlaw. Try my best not to be annoyed by you or complain to anyone abt you...cos that made me sinned. Try my best to be a better person each day, a person better than myself yesterday. Try to catch some sleep now. Bye!

To Hamzah

You have been such a wonderful child since born, my wonderful son. Every milestone of yours, is a joy for me. Please remember that you are a very fortunate boy. A person whom many shower their love for...there is Me, there is Bapak, Nyai and Yai...even Ah Gong Ah Mah, Ah Gu, Ah Gim, cik Aliah, Wak Amin, Wak Nurul...etcetc... Please also bare in mind that our being strict to you, doesn't lessen our love for you. Our love for you, is always equal to our love for your other siblings. There are many other children without parents, many other people without siblings, not even yai or nyai or even cik at home whom they can play with. Please appreciate whatever God (Allahuakhbar) has given you... I know there are times in life that is uneasy. Well nobody say life is easy. Nobody's life is easy! Right from the day you were born, tough times got my way. But I overcomed it. In fact, you were there for me (even though still a baby). That's what got me through :D Bapak, Sab and u are the reasons to my happy life. I hope you find us your reason to happiness too! Please remember to find someone who is able to love us as much as she loves you. Then we can be one united family :D Well, life is not only about getting married and having babies. If you think that you want to achieve somethings in life...be it career, dreams,etc go ahead! Just want to tell you that I support you as long as it is from the Right Guidance of Allah and is Halal. Mum is always here for you son. Even though I may not be a good cook, but I have a good pair of listening ears (in case you forgot) and shoulders to cry on.

Spiderman son... has a tendency of falling...

How I wish my son sometimes has that spiderweb thingy which Spiderman has... u know...just so that he can quickly "shoot" it out to grab onto something b4 he falls... Yes! he fell again this morning while playing with a bottle of bubbles...thanks for his very clever mother (hmmph!). I hope he's alright and grows up a strong boy who stands up himself without crying and able to recover from any ups and downs in life independently.

To my future Son-in-law or Daughter-in-law

Dear son-in-law or daughter-in-law, It's nice to know you. I hope you have been happy with the family and will always be happy about marrying my son or daughter. I remember someone writing a letter to her daughter-in-law and I thought this might be a better way to communicate with you, so here it is...just that I have written it here on my blog. I know you love my son and daughter, and will love us (FIL and MIL) too. Please continue to shower your love for them and for your children as well, cause I wanna love you the way I love them too. There have been times, during my time whereby treatment wasn't fair... I just wanna treat you...in your time as my son or daughter in law...as fairly as I can. No matter what you do, as long as it is not Haram, as long as it is good for your family and you, as long as we stay united as a happy family. I will always back you. IF you want me to help you take care of your children, I am more than willing to help. If you want to take care of them on your own, its all fine with me too. If you want to move out somewhere with my son or daughter and have your on home, just make sure that you come home as a family for lunch and dinner every week, enjoy spending time with me, talk to me, watch tv, sit somewhrere out there and watch the stars etc... I am very happy with it. If you wanna cook, by all means go ahead! SAHM or WM...as long as you can manage the family well, go ahead my dear. At the end of the day, I just want you to be happy :D. As long as you appreciate my love, for you, however I pamper you and you are grateful... at the end of the day able to thank Allah the way the Almighty wants it to be done, I will say Alhamdulillah. Keep up the good work and hope you'll love me back.

I WANNA TOUR FREE!!!

1. Goal: free tour to Hokkaido
2. Talk Freedom
3. Talk Amway
4. Talk Health

Good life

Think this post is abt finally having a good life... now that i have2 kids my life is complete? I dunno abt that... its more like wondering if i ever will have a happy life. Well i know i should search for my own happiness.... somehow i am happy wif my kids ard to cheer me up n keep me gg. But in someway or another... there is just this emptiness... i wonder if zul will ever understand that? Or will he think that i am just being selfish. He loves me for me... but sometimes he blames me for some small mistakes i did. It makes me thnk if he really understands who he has married. I m really disappointed to b called "bloody inconsiderate". It hurts right  through the heart... well its just some chilli sauce forgotten to be taken.
I understand that he is tired after a whole day of work. I understand that it is not easy to both work in the day n come back to look after kids, i know he wants me to be able to handle the household part of life.
But sometimes it is just a little thing thats not right. Does it have to be perfect?

Sabriyah @ 4th month

She is such a sunshine!

I wanna cook up some porridge this Friday!

Can I? hmm... not the normal porridge that u eat with chye sim guan... more like chicken congee...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=Ogx9LUen5hA&NR=1

haven't been able to eat it for really long time....one of my childhood favourite!

It's amazing to see myself being able to breastfeed Sab.
It is certainly more amazing when she cries for my breast while there is Formula milk available at home. Somehow, I felt delighted.
I am even more proud of her when she drinks the expressed milk through a bottle while I go to work.
Even delighted when my dad loses a bet...hehe! He will say "see! she's crying...hungry lah...u not enuff milk wat. give her some milk powder lah" and when I make a bottle of FM n she actually rejects it...hehehe! It's like I should have bet $10 on that... but that's not the point.
The point is... breastfeed is something which is really alien to my parents (both mum n dad).
Mum has never breastfed before... she has no clue about how it comes... the time when she gave birth to my bro and I...the Drs made the decision for her to give formula... what a waste right?
So, it is totally understandable that Dad has no clue at all.

Catwoman drinks a Lot

Catwoman sure drinks a lot!
It's been a while since I last blogged about her crying for milk in the hospital.
Not being bothered by milk issues really helps...

Life with my "Superman" and "Catwoman"

Here's my "Superman"

and here's "Catwoman"

Akar Fatimah

Well, "consulted" Mr Google about this interesting plant called Akar Fatimah.
Apparently, it is a plant which many Malay ladies (or Muslim ladies) will use to predict when they are going to be in labour....
All you have to do is to soak this interesting looking plant which came from Mecca (lets see if I can get a picture of it anywhere)...yes soak it in a bowl of water.... n if u see the flowers sort of "tembum" ("bloated" in English), it means you are ready to give birth anytime.
Interestingly...aren't you suppose to be able to feel it when you are ready for labour?
Certainly do not need a flower to tell you right? I mean there's the contraction... or waterbag burst... or both together?
Well, on the other hand, if it is really true, its gonna save a lot of waiting time in the hospital for labour.
hehe!
But Alhamdulillah! Praise be to Allah.... for this wonderful creation...

2nd week @ CHIJ STC

Its interesting to see how kids of others react in school. It got me thinking, how shall I educate my children so that they will not be like these young ladies, you know "roll eyes" just because they were told not to talk loudly in the lib in future.
I don't know, I just don't like the idea of getting kids of other parents to behave.
It seems like parents nowadays r not really teaching their kids proper library etiquettes or even...etiquettes!
Apart from discipline issues, other things abt the school seems fine.
Canteen food and coffee...superb!
Only $2.80 I get a lunch and a coffee.
The cleaner aunty of the library...been here for 15 yrs...blabbers abt how the libray teacher illtreats her everyday.
hmm... It seems to me...all cleaner aunties in all schs does that.
Its like... what's that call in chinese...?
Oh yes... 我看你好，你看我好。
你觉得你辛苦，我认为我最辛苦。
Meaning, everything I see about you seems great, and everything you see about me seems great.
But when it comes to challenges in life, everyone likes to compare who's worse...
Blogged until here...I have to go tell everyone to keep quiet again.

She taught me some values :) good values

This beautiful girl has taught me some wonderful values since in labor with her... Or even earlier, like while carrying her? Or even while having her brother, just that I did not notice at all. Thank u Sabriyah, Shi Ning. 1. Patience- carrying was easy just eat watever I want, do watever I want. Only the $ involved...sometiimes really needs patience with Paying things. Patience in labor with the contraction that comes every 5mins. I wonder how ppl in the olden days give birth to many kids. 2. Respect - respect the kindness from ppl who tries to give advices that they think is really good for u instead of blaming them. This Shining star cried through the night for milk till I realised this value. Omg almost got her sick. 3. Somethings just have to let go so u can be happier- I wonder which value this is? Choices? Or is choices a value? Well, sometimes letting go really makes one happier instead of being adamant n stubborn over what I want or what I think is right. Normal delivery was my choice n it made me realised the differences n I felt great. Letting Shining have fm was no choice, otherwise she might get sick screaming for milk (she was reeally screaming her throat dry), was my choice n I felt great. I hope above values r what Shining will carry through her life n not throw tantrum like wat she did for milk. They r truely great values forgotten sometimes.

9 more days can?

Baby....just 9 more days to 24th of this mth... 11.30pm can? We'll see u then :D by then mummy's pay will come... we'll see u then k? hang in there.... I love u! there's no hurry, just get yourself really comfortable n prepared...then "pop" we meet on the 25th k :D